Balance @ArianeGriffiths wonders if it exists?

Balance – Does it even exist?

Dictionary.com defines balance as a few things, but only two definitions really stuck out to me:
- A state of equilibrium or equipoise; equal distribution of weight, amount, etc.
- Mental steadiness or emotional stability; habit of calm behavior, judgment, etc.

How do you achieve balance? Is always a popular question among entrepreneurs and one that usually creates a flurried conversation about different ways to create balance (“Make sure you schedule proper office hours!”, “Don’t answer your phone or check your messages after hours”, “Do your work once the kids are in bed.”)

From my experience, the conversation rarely unveils a NEW way to achieve balance and my belief is because I don’t think there IS a way to achieve Balance.

If you’re attempting to achieve the first definition “Equal Distribution” then MAYBE you can set your hours, turn off your phone and do your work after the kids go to bed, but let’s be honest here, will that happen? No! Ok, maybe for a day if you’re lucky, but then a frustrated client calls and talks way longer than your “scheduled hours” and by the time you’ve put the kids to bed, you can barely tell up from down, let alone make sense of the tasks that are waiting for you.

Now, if you’re attempting to achieve the second definition “Mental Steadiness or Emotional Stability”, the likeliness of you succeeding falls even further down the line because THAT is a hard thing to do for ANYONE (Entrepreneur or not!) There are too many factors playing in this situation.
Please don’t get me wrong, I believe you CAN achieve balance, but in order to do so, you first have to identify a few benchmarks.

Determine your goals
I say this not in terms of numbers/sales/etc. But what goals do you have for your life? When you look back do you want to remember that you spent every evening going back and forth from the dinner table to your email inbox? Probably not.
Write down what you “want” out of this life (and don’t use the word Balance) As per any goal, be specific, “I want to go on every school trip with my kids.” Or “I want to make sure I am here for them if they’re sick and need to be off school.”

Take a step back and look around
Take a look at what you’ve built as an entrepreneur. Is it honestly making you happy? Are you finding joy in the work / life that you have created? If something is nagging at you, bringing you down and you dread doing it, chance are good it’s got to go.

Again, write a list of what is dragging you down and (again) be specific, “I hate answering emails.” Or “I can’t stand cleaning the house on the weekends; I’d rather be tobogganing with the kids.”

Now that you have your list of “wants” and your list of “don’t wants” think of ways to implement and/or banish. For your “don’t wants” ask yourself if it would really break the bank if you got a cleaner in to clean the house once/month? What if you gave the kids an incentive to clean up? I’ve heard of parents hiding money around the house so the kids clean up in order to find said money – now that’s smart!

Think of making a day that you never get any work done (like Monday) the day where you do mundane niggling tasks (like replying to emails) so that you get that hated task out of the way, AND your day is still productive.

My point is to think REALISTICALLY and figure out what YOUR balance is.. Looking at another person’s form of balance is in no way going to come close to helping you achieve yours because it’s not your life, it’s theirs.. so right off the bat, it won’t work for you. Find solutions that work for YOU and YOUR family.
When you finish doing that, only then will you find balance. BUT keep in mind that when you find that balance, it will only be for a day or so.. ;)

Ariane Griffiths is a freelance Web Developer, Designer and Small Business Advocate. You can find out more information about her and her multitude of projects over at www.arianegriffiths.com where she talks about everything to do with web, social media, entrepreneurship and her “other” business as an Epicure Selections Rep.

Vaughan Mompreneurs

My business rocks my world. And I wanted to show you how being apart of our organization will help you grow as an entrepreneur and help your business grow. Vaughan Mompreneurs helps moms who own business find more affordable ways to advertise their company to the community. Without having to pay hundreds of dollars in print media we work together to get acknowledged through trade shows, networking events, community events, referrals and social media.

Being a mom and running more than one business is really tough and I like having support from other mompreneurs to talk to and feed off each others business. Being a licensee of the Ontario Mompreneurs group will give us momprenuers a great deal of exposure once our new membership fee's come into play.

Come join us at www.vaughanmompreneurs.com and see the how our support can help you.

I would like to thank one of my vendors and good friend Dana from Digital Shoebox media services that created this great video. And a big thanks to the sponsors of the showcase, Oh So Sweet, Lisa Sinopoli, Lino Contento, PTPA, PEachy Buy, Tutor Doctor, MumsNChums, Rugcutters, lil Sugar Magazine and Bullseye plans.

I look forward to working with so many amazing women and being able to help them as a friend and as a small business consultant.

Finding a little balance this week

Many mompreneurs will find themselves playing double duty this week with children at home from school, and a partial business week to manage. As a work at home mom, juggling both tasks can be daunting. I have some advice on how to keep both your work and children happy this week!

Create a Prioritized To Do List

• Writing all of your tasks down is the first key to getting organized, as a chaotic house can often cause even the best multi-tasker to be forgetful. Next, the more important part is prioritizing.
• Divide your tasks between high-priority and Moderate tasks. Next, further divide your high-priority tasks into quick tasks and tasks that require your undivided attention.
• Plan to complete all of your high-priority critical tasks in the quietest part of the day, and always place them ahead of all other tasks.

By handling the most important items first, you will be better able to manage less demanding tasks even if you have interruptions or some level of chaos.

Schedule in Time for Interruptions

• Give yourself extra time with every task. If a task would normally take you half an hour, give yourself an hour, allowing time for interruptions. This will keep your stress level down if you do get interrupted, and you’ll gain additional time if you don’t get interrupted.
• Plan scheduled breaks for meals with your children. By planning meal times, you will be able to escape feelings of guilt, and you will get a much needed break in order to return to your work with a fresh mind.

Work While the Kids are Sleeping

• The key to working while your kids are sleeping is choosing either the morning hours, or the later hours in the evening for completing tasks that require your undivided attention. If you are most efficient in the morning, start your day before your children wake up, and remember to plan for taking a break when your children up. Therefore, schedule tasks that are manageable within that time frame. If you are more of a night-owl on the other hand, extend your sleep as late as possible in the morning in order to stay alert towards the evening, and make the most out of your quiet hours.

Put Your Kids to Work

• The holidays can be a great time to teach children about what their mom does for work, and to inspire children to develop their passions. While you work, a great way to get children excited for the new year is to have them outline their goals. If your children are old enough, have them put together a business plan of how they plan to make money from their passions in the new year. This will fuel a child's entrepreneurial spirit, and will allow them to set their own goals outside of school.
• If your children are younger in age, have them engage in projects just the way you do. Have them select projects and create a list of tasks for those projects. Then, set up a work station in your home office, and have your children work on their projects, just as you get your work done.

Depending on your child's age, this may only give you 45 minutes of uninterrupted time, however this may an excellent time to get all of your lower-priority tasks out of the way.

I'm blogging from my new IPhone 4S

So I decided that it was time for me to upgrade my iPhone 3GS. Besides the fact that the screen was smashed, I loved everything about it and was in no rush to be like everyone else and be the first person to have the brand new addition to the apple world.

But regardless of my love for that phone, and the memories I have of it with me and the kids, little glass chips in my thumb was not sitting well with me.

So off to the Bell store to get my new upgrade and commit to another three years of money out the door.

I brought my new baby home and instantly hit the laptop to sync all my contacts, music and apps.
So as I am adding some new ones from this amazing device with so many new features I never imagined, I come across a familiar name.....BLOGGER

OMG, is that what I think it is?
So I open it up and all the while thinking its just an app that allows me to read my favorite blogs, but still be able to do it without having to google it all the time.
Well was I ever mistaken....son of a beehive I can actually blog from my phone and post it!!!

Ha, I love that. I can be in the doctors office, or waiting in the car or like right now as I'm putting my 21month old to sleep and BLOG!
How convenient is that?

Can you think of all the possibilities, all the opportunities to just pick up your phone and start your next blog about something that's happening right in front of you. The convenience to not have to wait till you get home and post your thoughts.

I am very happy I upgraded my apple and look forward to all the many more posts I will be making from everywhere and anywhere!!

So today's blog is brought to you by the new BLOGGER APP from apple IPhone 4S, a must for any blogger!

About a week ago I was on twitter as I normally live on and saw some posts that my good friend @Optimom was discussing about your children and anxiety with the hash tag #ourkids. At first I just followed, but after 10 minutes I jumped in and asked this question first as a joke, but then realizing I really wanted to know the answer “Is there a difference between a mama’s boy and anxiety?” Well what happened after that started a slew tweets and comments, tears and emails.

Let me tell you a little about my son Joseph (aka Jojo). He can walk into a room and everyone will have some kind of complement on his appearance or his personality. He is FULL of life and energy, and will melt your heart. He is now 6 years old and I come to realize that my little boy isn’t a mama’s boy at all but may be gifted. From when he was three he started collecting things and putting them in safe places for no one to touch, things like books, backugans, pens, sticky notes and anything small and collectible. He would have the biggest tantrum if anyone touched or moved even one thing. Currently he won’t sleep at anyone’s house, he won’t sleep in his sheets for fear of messing them up, and he cannot mix his foods during dinner and changes his clothes 3-4 times a day. With all of these little quirks and many more I always had this mother’s intuition that something was not right with him. OCD and ADHD always cross my mind, and I have taken him to the doctor to see, and discussed my concerns with family and my husband, but I always get, “ Oh, he’s just a typical boy” or “ He’ll outgrow this” or “look and you and your husband”. So until this twitter chat I’ve always had that gut feeling but never acted on it due to fear of my own.

So back to twitter, as another friend of mine that was in that twitter conversation, @ChickyMara started telling me about her children and their issues, other moms were telling me to go with my instincts and follow up. As all these tweets were streaming in I felt so overwhelmed that I started to cry, and not just tears, but a hard cry. It was as if I was losing my son to this new thing I had no clue about, but it was a relief cry that I knew I was right all along. It was all making sense, but more than anything I felt such support from Laurel (Optimom), Mara (ChickyMara) and other amazing moms it was something I never had before because no one understood what I was feeling.

Well here we are,  my first Blog Post. Ill warn you now, I'm not an English major, I treat spellcheck as if its my best friend. I thought I would start writing about being a mom and running a business and all my opinions in between. The good, the bad and the ugly. I am honest and very naive, so the things that might come out of my mouth are just my opinions and thoughts and I value any input and/comments that I could improve on.

Well where do I start?
What do I write?
What do people want to read?

I DON'T CARE...I decided I would start out by writing what I'm feeling and what I want to discuss with other wonderful people.

Maybe it will be about my kids, maybe it will be about my business ...(by the way its Vaughan Mompreneurs), maybe about social media or maybe ill just write about some proper twitter etiquette . What ever it is I look forward to letting loose and opening up.

Until next time....