Dictionary.com defines balance as a few things, but only two definitions really stuck out to me:
- A state of equilibrium or equipoise; equal distribution of weight, amount, etc.
- Mental steadiness or emotional stability; habit of calm behavior, judgment, etc.
How do you achieve balance? Is always a popular question among entrepreneurs and one that usually creates a flurried conversation about different ways to create balance (“Make sure you schedule proper office hours!”, “Don’t answer your phone or check your messages after hours”, “Do your work once the kids are in bed.”)
From my experience, the conversation rarely unveils a NEW way to achieve balance and my belief is because I don’t think there IS a way to achieve Balance.
If you’re attempting to achieve the first definition “Equal Distribution” then MAYBE you can set your hours, turn off your phone and do your work after the kids go to bed, but let’s be honest here, will that happen? No! Ok, maybe for a day if you’re lucky, but then a frustrated client calls and talks way longer than your “scheduled hours” and by the time you’ve put the kids to bed, you can barely tell up from down, let alone make sense of the tasks that are waiting for you.
Now, if you’re attempting to achieve the second definition “Mental Steadiness or Emotional Stability”, the likeliness of you succeeding falls even further down the line because THAT is a hard thing to do for ANYONE (Entrepreneur or not!) There are too many factors playing in this situation.
Please don’t get me wrong, I believe you CAN achieve balance, but in order to do so, you first have to identify a few benchmarks.
Determine your goals
I say this not in terms of numbers/sales/etc. But what goals do you have for your life? When you look back do you want to remember that you spent every evening going back and forth from the dinner table to your email inbox? Probably not.
Write down what you “want” out of this life (and don’t use the word Balance) As per any goal, be specific, “I want to go on every school trip with my kids.” Or “I want to make sure I am here for them if they’re sick and need to be off school.”
Take a step back and look around
Take a look at what you’ve built as an entrepreneur. Is it honestly making you happy? Are you finding joy in the work / life that you have created? If something is nagging at you, bringing you down and you dread doing it, chance are good it’s got to go.
Again, write a list of what is dragging you down and (again) be specific, “I hate answering emails.” Or “I can’t stand cleaning the house on the weekends; I’d rather be tobogganing with the kids.”
Now that you have your list of “wants” and your list of “don’t wants” think of ways to implement and/or banish. For your “don’t wants” ask yourself if it would really break the bank if you got a cleaner in to clean the house once/month? What if you gave the kids an incentive to clean up? I’ve heard of parents hiding money around the house so the kids clean up in order to find said money – now that’s smart!
Think of making a day that you never get any work done (like Monday) the day where you do mundane niggling tasks (like replying to emails) so that you get that hated task out of the way, AND your day is still productive.
My point is to think REALISTICALLY and figure out what YOUR balance is.. Looking at another person’s form of balance is in no way going to come close to helping you achieve yours because it’s not your life, it’s theirs.. so right off the bat, it won’t work for you. Find solutions that work for YOU and YOUR family.
When you finish doing that, only then will you find balance. BUT keep in mind that when you find that balance, it will only be for a day or so.. ;)
Ariane Griffiths is a freelance Web Developer, Designer and Small Business Advocate. You can find out more information about her and her multitude of projects over at www.arianegriffiths.com where she talks about everything to do with web, social media, entrepreneurship and her “other” business as an Epicure Selections Rep.
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